Chanting with Mala Beads

I have always been spiritually eclectic, lost in a sea of esoteric and pagan traditions. 

One tradition that always fascinated me, yet I never actually practised, was chanting with mala beads. I would see the Sadhus on TV, with their beads swiftly flowing over their fingers as their minds and souls would soar over the Ganges. 

Only recently did I finally decide to purchase my first set of mala beads. I did my research and decided on a chant that I liked and felt right. 

The first time I did a full round of the beads with my chant, my mind became crystal clear and needle sharp, I couldn’t believe how wonderful it made me feel. 

I haven’t stopped since. 

Chanting has helped me to reach a higher state of consciousness, connection and wisdom. 

I reach a place of peace and serenity that I rarely reach in any other form of meditation. 

In its simplest form, it makes me feel great.

I love the idea of the mala beads, ‘garlands from heaven’ I see the beads as they are in this world, often beautiful, strings of beads, maybe with embellishment or a tassel. 

But in the other world, through my shamanic eye, I see its true form, a garland of sacred flowers plucked from heaven itself.

There are 108 beads, and I suspect that many reasons why there are 108 beads. 

My favourite is that there are approximately 108 meridians that run through the heart chakra, seat of love, compassion, creation and manifestation. 

There is also a guru bead, which we never chant on or cross, it is left as a holy bead, it is sacred, reserved for gratitude and thanks to our teachers, God, higher self.

I love how chanting with these beads fit so well with any other tradition, for example; I sit, every Saturday evening, along with my fellow shaman, with our mesa’s open, dreaming our world into being. 

I still do this, but I end by chanting a full cycle of a world prayer. 

I’ll tell you about that later.

So how do you do it? 

Acquire a set of mala beads, either made or bought. 

Dedicate them in your way. 

Bless them, in your way. 

Drape the beads over your middle or ring finger, (never the index finger, the finger of ego) use your thumb to gently squeeze, roll, or stroke the bead whilst you chant your chant, (silently or out loud) then you push it along, continuing with the next beads. 

Once you have made your way to the ‘guru bead’ at the beginning, you can turn it around and start again.

For some reason only my higher self knows, I decided that I needed a set of mala beads for each of the chants I use. And so, it began….

My first is a rudraksha mala, they are the seeds of a holy tree that only grows in the Himalayan mountain ranges. 

Rudraksha beads are good for protecting you from heavy energies and supporting your energy field. They also help to purify your body and mind. 

It connects me to the Hindu part of myself.

The chant I use for this set is; Om Namah Shivaya. 

It is thousands of years old. 

Om is the sound that came out of the void of potential, before existence came Om. 

Namah, means literally bow. 

Shivaya means God, higher self, divine self, the inner self, future potential. ‘Om, I bow to my sacred self’

{Aum-num-ha-shi-way}

I was in the Hippy Market in Ibiza when I me my second mala, it was love at first sight. 

Connecting to my Buddhist side to my soul, I acquired a Tibetan Yak bone mala. 

I knew the very mantra that this one would connect too.

Loka Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu. 

Loka, means all the people, the universe, all is one. 

Samastah, means All beings in the same time and location. 

Sukhino, means free from suffering, centred on happiness. 

Bhuv, means the state of unified existence, unity consciousness. 

Antu, means May it be so. So may it be.

{Loka-Sam-a-star-sook-e-no-buv-antu}

My third mala I acquired in Portugal. Another Buddhist mala, lotus seeds. 

The lotus flower rises up from the deep dark muddy waters towards the light of the sun and the stillness of the pool. 

They represent spiritual development, enlightenment and the open heart. 

Om Mani Padme Hum is my chosen mantra for this mala, fitting as you will see…’Om, behold the jewel in the lotus of the heart!’ 

For me this beautifully phonic chant opens up the heart chakra to love, munay, compassion and a fierce one heart flame. 

I dedicated this mala recently to this exact cause, the dawn of the One Heart Flame. 

There is so much to know within this mantra, I couldn’t possibly go through it all now. 

It purifies; pride, jealousy, lust, prejudice, judgementalness, violence and apathy. 

{om-man-ee-pad-me-hum}

I recently made two more mala bead sets, to go with two more chants that I use, both strangely are linked to the Divine Feminine.

The first is a Goddess mala. 

This was inspired by witches necklaces that I have seen, normally jet and amber, my pagan mala is made of; jet, wood, lava, tigers eye and quartz crystal, with a antler guru bead in the shape of a Mother Goddess. 

Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti is my chant, simple and pure, raising ones energy field to that of peace, bliss and the Divine feminine. 

It is literally the word ‘peace’ repeated three times, for each of the three worlds within us.

{om-shan-ti-shan-ti-shan-ti}

The second mala that I made was a pretty powerful experience. 

Firstly, they are (to be) dedicated to Kali Ma, the dark Goddess within the Hindu cosmology. 

She is a Mother Goddess, yet she is also the destroyer, a terminator of time, ego and all hatred and apathy. 

She is one of my favourite Goddesses to work with, so powerful and so beautifully dark. 

The chant I use has been said to be only used by very few initiates due to its purgative nature, you literally call Kali to come and destroy all that does not serve you, destroying the ego, fast-tracking you to enlightenment. 

Strengthened by the word ‘Shi’ which is an expression of greatest respect, and the word ‘Maha’ meaning Great. 

She is a waka, a primitive and galactic pillar of universal energy. 

The black beads that I acquired had to be literally impaled and broken open so I could thread them, I used black leather thong for its strength, and I used tiny wooden skulls within the mala. 

The guru bead is a red skull with a dark blue tassel, like the skin of Kali Ma. 

She is still waiting to be used and dedicated too…I’m waiting for the right time… 

Om, Sri, Maha, Kalikayai Namaha.

{om-shree-maha-kar-lee-ka-yay-na-ma-har}

Mala beads and the chants are such a blessing, and I implore everyone to try it out and see what you think. Experiment, and find your voice. 

Ask the universe for a garland of flowers direct from heaven, maybe you will find one that suits your practise.

Namaste – I bow to the Divine within you

An Evening with Mac McCartney

 “Mac is an international speaker, (a TED talker too) writer and change maker. 

Mentored by indigenous people over many years, he has acquired profound and original insights into questions preoccupying many contemporary leaders. 

Mac seeks to inspire the emergence of the leader in each of us. 

The leader who will take courageous actions for a better world.”

This was taken from Mac’s website www.macmacartney.com so when Outrider Anthems announced a free talk by the guy himself I jumped at the chance!

First of all I’d like to bring attention to Outrider Anthems, a small but growing organisation in my home town of Reading. 

They dedicate themselves to artistic vision, imagination and conjuring magic in everyday spaces, my kind of people! 

Please check them out www.outrideranthems.com

Something they are doing now is ‘Festival of the Dark’, a year of festivities surrounding the deliciousness and fertility of the Sacred Dark. 

Mac’s talk, Reflections on Darkness, is a part of this festival.

I’m not going to quote him on his talk, I would do a disservice to his almost private talk. So instead I will try to convey what was said and what else I heard from my own spirit. (plus, I have a poor memory and can’t read all my notes)

Opening with the importance of dreaming got my ears pinned instantly. 

The unassuming and almost stoic man stood haloed by a beautiful art backdrop of the holy chalice in the chapel of St James Church. 

He spoke of three types of dreams, anxiety dreams, the usual ones we have, the dreams our subconscious mind creates as it tries to understand this so called human life. 

Then there are prophetic dreams, dreams we all have had, when something comes true. ESP, clairvoyant, psychic, they are either a prediction of the future or the present. 

Then there are almost Divine dreams, when God seems to talk to you, a dream that inspires you to change, to take action. 

I love this not just because I have always been a dreamer, but also because a huge part of my role as shaman is to dream our world into being, and teach others to do the same.

Sleep is important not only to dream but to also be held in stillness. 

We sleep in the dark, a wave of darkness shrouds us every twelve hours or so, and we collectively all sink into a state of unconscious bliss. 

In the darkness, we can dream. 

The world was created in a void of darkness. 

Life came out of the dark primordial waters of our mother earth. 

Seeds sit germinating in the dark, wet and tangled earth, waiting to be stirred by the light and warmth of the sun. 

We, humans, were all once upon a time, held in the dark, wet wombs of our mother. 

A fetus is sitting in the in-between, not really alive as we know it and yet not in the world of spirit it once knew. 

They are in a deep state of dreaming. 

Dreaming its world into being before it is even born. 

Tonight, as you lay in bed, feel the darkness around you, feel the safety and comfort of this night-blanket that enables us to enjoy the dark beauty of sleep, and the opportunity and privileged of dreaming; memories of your womb time.  

Mac spoke of his time in Colombia, working with the tribes and shamans there. 

Much of Colombia’s villagers have associations with the big drug lords, so life can be tough. 

When a woman of the tribe is pregnant, her baby is tested to see if the child will be a shaman, if the test is positive then she is taken away to the dark. 

Deep into the mountains she is taken, along a long tunnel at the mouth of a cave (I know this place well.) 

They travel deeper into the cave, the light disappearing slowly as darkness prevails. 

And there she waits to give birth. 

For seven years her and her baby live a beautiful and sacred life in the darkness. 

The child is trained and taught and played with. 

The only thing he hears is the soft murmurs of his select guardians, all he sees is shadows and darkness. 

The only smell is the cool damp rock and tastes, on purpose, only the blandest of foods. 

Loved, cherished and adored, they are asked to dream, dream their world into being. 

Trees, clouds, food, colour, mountains, the moon and stars, they dream them all. 

When they reach the age of seven, they are slowly taken out of the womb like cave of darkness, slowly they emerge into the slightest of light, down the birth canal of the cave tunnel. 

Imagine what that child must experience as he sees for the first time a shard of sunlight pouring from the mouth of the cave? 

Imagine what thought as he first heard the sound of birds singing and children playing in the fields? Imagine what he felt when he saw a tree for the first time, a forest, his mother’s face, his own hands. The colours of the world, the smell of the earth after the rain, the warm earth beneath his feet…It is said these children never recover, permanently in a state of awe and wonder. 

They never get over that first sight of our worlds beauty. It’s done this way because a shaman’s role in their community to remind them of the beauty in our world. 

I had tears as I listened to this story. Is this my responsibility too?

Mac gifted us three questions that we could choose to carry with us on our journey through life;

What is it you most deeply and profoundly love?

For me this speaks of not only love but of moral codes of conduct, our integrity, our truth, our journey itself.

What are your deepest and profound gifts?

I think this could also be, what is your dharma? 

What is it you love to do, what is it you do that no one else can do the way you do it, what can you share with the world, your community, your family, what is your service to humanity?

What are you deepest and profound responsibilities? This I feel is about your connection with the world, God. My responsibility is to my son, my husband. 

But we can also choose to widen our responsibility, I can choose to be responsible to all those I touch with my work. 

To remind others of the beauty in our world…

Mac spoke of something about being a leader, about being in right relationship with the world and God, with an alignment with your heart and mind, being in the here and now. 

For us in our tradition of the Inca, this is called Ayni. 

When we live our truth with integrity being wholly who you are, we become leaders. 

Only then can we say, despite what is happening right now in the world, in my life, I choose to do what I love, speak my truth, and live each moment, each day throughout my life knowing I lived well.

Mac left us with an exquisite insight. 

It was about eight in the evening, the darkness of spring was shrouding us, and he said these words;

At this moment, there is a wave of bird song, a dawn chorus, hurtling towards us at great speed, as the sun chases the darkness away.

My Call from the Mountain Spirits

A part of my work as a shaman is to reanimate the world around me. 

But what does this mean? 

My shamanic path is a animistic one, meaning that I believe, to a certain extent, (it depends on my level of consciousness at the time) that the world is organised by supernatural/spiritual/energetic beings. 

Places, plants, animals, even inanimate objects contain an essence that is conscious. 

These spirits can be communicated with and even implored to help you, be it for wisdom or a quality of power.

In my opinion, the most powerful and beautiful of those beings are the Apukuna. 

Apu means Lord or Mountain, they are the Spirit of the Mountains. 

For me they are colossal, both in size and presence, and yet they are as gentle as falling snow, and so quiet, you will doubt they are even there.

The stone people, stones, live in a different time and space to us human people. 

We are barely visible to them, we are born and die in such a flash that we are almost inconceivable to them. 

They are unaware of us until we interact with them. 

Maybe we pick them up, hold them, speak to them, or maybe we bring their heads together awakening their memory of fire, and then they will see us.

I am joined to the lineage of the Altomesayoc, and as such I can appeal and converse with the Apukuna. 

Stepping outside of time and space is a way of communicating with these most ancient and majestic beings. 

I recently acquired a set of seven chumpi stones. 

They are quite large compared to many I have seen and are made from meteorite. 

Each stone has a different amount of points, which relate to different sacred mountains, or Apukuna, and, among other things, are used to gift one of the nine rites of the Munay Ki, the Chumpi rites, or the Sacred Bands of Power. 

I decided to create a seven-day ceremony to attune each stone to a mountain. 

Each day I carried and held one of the stones while summoning the correlating Apukuna.

I took note of anything I noticed about me and my day. 

Then later that night I chanted 108 times the name of that mountain spirit summoning them to be joined to that stone. 

I then anointed it with my favourite oil, Nag Champa.

What did I notice? I hear you ask. 

They had messages to tell and wisdom to share, and I will tell you.

I must admit, I wasn’t sure what would come up. 

What did happen was a huge shift in my energyfield. 

Deep, powerful and long standing wounds that I have dealt with many times, including during my own experience on the medicine wheel, came up, and not only did they show me the true face of my wound, the Apukuna showed me exactly where the wounds came from. 

The answer shocked me to my core and brought up many long-buried memories. 

I still find it hard to believe this didn’t show up during the many healing sessions I have received. 

I now know what I need to heal; the journey continues.

The Yapanapukuna, the Sacred Mountains.

Apu Ausangate, humpuyai, hampui, bandeira, bandeira.

The Sacred Masculine, the divine source of water speaks; Stop, take the time to smell the flowers I offer to you. 

Take notice of the joy that ripples around you, play with our children, give them all you have at that moment, we all deserve tickles and cuddles. 

Drink plenty of my sacred waters, they are offered to you freely, let it nourish you. 

Opportunities are given, you need only ask, stand at the edge of the forest and ask for what you want, know that you will get what you want and more besides.

Apu Salcantay, humpuyai, hampui, bandeira, bandeira.

The Sacred Feminine, Wild woman speaks; Run! Like the wild horses, raw and natural.

Be just who you are, embrace all that you are, the good, the bad and downright dirty! 

See those sparks of life in all, and allow that spark of the wild to shine secretly to those who know it, and to those who do not, may you scare them with your wild beauty. 

Create a splash of chaos, if you wish, but it is far better to move silently through this world without creating a ripple, like wild geese on a lake of morn-light.

Apu Illimani, humpuyai, hampui, bandeira, bandeira.

The First Light speaks; The first light of Inti, our star, shone down upon the earth and cast the first shadows amongst the people of stone. 

Now the sacred light is at its brightest, and the shadows are at their darkest, yet we are living in the darkness. 

Be the light, trust in yourself, trust in your light. 

Notice and observe the nonviolence, notice the places where there is no arguing, no fighting, no swearing or screaming, be this. 

Know it is your choice to stop protesting and complaining, accept or be the change you would rather see. 

It feels good, doesn’t it? Look to the sun, and breathe.

Apu Huanakauri, humpuyai, hampui, bandeira, bandeira.

Coiling Serpent speaks; Know what is in your heart will be reflected in the world around you. 

Look in the streets, the media, your own life, see that it is truth. 

What can sometimes feel daunting is a lesson in connection, we are all connected. 

A fine thread connects us to the war and torment of another the other side of the world. 

Our reflections are us, we are our reflections, All is One. Know when to strike, and when to recoil to the safety of your inner landscape. 

Learn to power of No, and the beauty of Yes.

Apu Sacsayhuaman, humpuyai, hampui, bandeira, bandeira.

The Satisfied Falcon speaks; Be true to yourself, be honest. 

Allow the winds to blow through your mind, clearing space for you. 

Be in integrity, its ok to feel happy, give yourself permission to be satisfied. 

Know your truth, speak your truth, live your truth, it cannot lead you astray. 

Take a deep breath in and just Be.

Apu Huacawilka, humpuyai, hampui, bandeira, bandeira.

The Sacred Tears speaks; When you allow your tears to run, you allow the river within you to flow. All rivers nourish the soil around them, all rivers deposit their gifts. 

Nourish the soils of your heart, allow the rivers to flow, you will find the roots to your wounds and with it, the fragments of gold you have been waiting for.

Apu Machu Picchu, humpuyai, hampui, bandeira, bandeira.

The Wise Old Man, the Sage speaks; Listen to the young, their wisdom can sometimes surpass that of the old, both are invaluable. 

Listen to the children of our future, to the inner child within. 

You have within you all the answers you will ever need, and the questions that follow. 

Open up your heart and listen to the wisdom of the Divine, it is your Sacred voice that that speaks. 

Be the light in the darkness, be the goodness in the world, step into your authenticity.

These are the words of the Yapanapukuna, all the Sacred Mountains. 

A Hero's Call

They say that you can hear the call three times before you find the courage to answer it; a call to adventure, a call to destiny and life. Writer and storyteller Joseph Campbell said,

“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day, into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”

Well, I'm back! Anyone care for a boon?

My call was a call to parenthood, but that doesn't sound very extraordinary, being a gay man means I would need to make some tough decisions, and do something out of the ordinary, other than the usual ins-and-outs of life to produce a child (pun intended). When is anyone truly ready to be a parent? ‘When I have X amount of money in savings’ ‘Once I've seen the world’ ‘Once I’ve grown up’ Knowing I couldn't just ‘Fall pregnant’ meant that if I decide to have a child then the ball will start rolling….Ok…..deep breath….Yes! Call answered.

It just so happened that my partner Tom works for an adoption agency. The call felt like a silent bell going off in my heart. I felt like a spider tentatively stepping and sensing his way along a thin thread trying to grasp what was on the other end, the thread was my new path, a heart string had been pulled.

I was due to go on an advanced shamanic class, ‘Working with the Mythic’ with Chris Waters (www.spiritoftheinca.com) ‘Bring with you a fairy-tale that you feel connected too…’ I couldn't even think of any, so I called another shaman friend of mine, Charlotte Gush (www.shamanicway.co.uk) who was given the name ‘Rumpelstiltskin’ by Spirit, I listened. It was one of my favourites but I couldn’t see how it related to me. 

I arrived at misty hills of Avalon, The Glass Isles of Glastonbury, where the world reflects back to you. I sat in a group waiting to tell the tale I brought with me, the trees eagerly listening, I told the tale of Rumpelstiltskin from the place of ‘I’ - the I being the poor nameless girl who was trapped in the dungeon by the King, who demanded an impossible task of her; to spin straw into gold, a lie told by her father.

I could definitely feel the link; I was trapped in a dungeon like 9-5 life that was not authentic, and I had the impossible task of creating a family that was biologically not going to happen, in a Kingdom that was not all 100% happy with LGBT parents. But I couldn't fully connect with her, she wasn't my story.

We performed many tasks and beautiful ceremonies within the land of Glastonbury that week, re-enacting myths and legends, of Percival, the decent of Inanna. We visited Gwen App Nudd the lord of the underworld, and Cerridwen of the cauldron of transformation. Sat on the altar in our sanctuary was a beautiful statue of the horned lord, I longed to be connected to him, and for me his presence represented fatherhood in its purest form. His resplendent horns are the horns of passion, fierce love, protector and guardian, provider and teacher, all the things needed to be a father, I lost my horns a long time ago. Where was he in this story? We hadn't discussed him at all. Where are my horns?

There is a thorn tree in the Chalice Well Gardens, it is said that the tree grew from a sapling from another tree that grew on Wearyall Hill, and this particular tree grew from the staff of Joseph of Aramathea, Jesus’s Uncle, the staff was cut from the same thorn tree that Jesus's crown of thorns was made from. A small ceremony we have done many times before is walk under this tree in the Chalice Gardens, and comb our hair through its thorns and give back our own crown of thorns, we no longer need this guilt in the world. I was looking forward to visiting this ancient tree and as I approached, to my horror, it had gone. The year previously the even more ancient tree on Wearyall Hill had been vandalised beyond repair and died, a year later the tree in the Chalice Garden was struck by lightning and split in half. All that is there now is a fairy ring. I stood looking at this fairy ring and it dawned on me a story of the horned lord. I have heard that there once was a sacred garden, maybe the Garden of Eden? And in that garden stood an ancient tree, for some reason lightning struck it and it split in half, and out of its centre stepped the horned lord. Had he stepped out of this tree?

Once I was back at base camp at the Abbey House, I decided to tell my story from the place of ‘I’ but instead of the young girl I chose Rumpelstiltskin, after all it is his story, the only one with a name. Suddenly it all started to make sense. Rumpelstiltskin did the impossible, he spun old straw into gold, an impossible task a bit like creating a family with out a woman. He was promised a child, I held on to the hope that Toms agency would say yes to us. He had a secret name, a secret identity that is anyone found out would cause his demise, I am not an 'office worker' its not my name, I have a secret name, a secret identity, one that involves children, magic and mystery. He was betrayed and the promise of a child was taken away from him, and he tore himself in two with the pain and rage.

“What if this story came true?”

“It can’t, I would be devastated.”

“But what if this is exactly how things are supposed to be?”

“I feel like my life would be over, I would be in so much pain and rage I wouldn’t know what to do…”

That night we burnt our stories in a ceremonial fire. In the flaming remains of all the stuff I was working on that week I saw the image of a King. Also that night Tom went into a meeting to officially ask to start the adoption process with his agency. After the fire I ran through misty rain back indoors, put on kettle for a hot chocolate and checked my phone for a response from Tom. I called him after reading his text. We weren’t allowed due to employment boundaries, which is understandable, but still rage flared inside my heart. My head aching with the loss, the story came true, I went to bed heavy hearted.

Something was splitting, my head, my soul, my heart? One of my kuyas is a split stone, I call it ‘Emergence’ is this what is happening? It didn’t feel like it.

The next morning I had a powerful migraine, I stormed about the place swearing and punching walls in rage. I felt like I was splitting in half, I was Rumpelstiltskin tearing myself in half, I had to tell my story! Someone took the words out of my mouth, “Where is the fierce masculine in all of this? Where is the horned lord?” YES! Where the fuck is he?! So I told my story.

“Where do you feel this loss in your body?”

“Its in my head, and my heart, but mainly my head, I feel like I am about to split in half.”

“What would happen if you allowed yourself to split?”

My heart swam in relief, I could finally let go, I raised my hands to my head and slowly with grace tore myself in two, and it felt liberating! I felt peaceful, still in pain, but accepted pain.

“Can anyone else see his horns?” I heard someone say, ‘I’ stepped out of myself and there instead of the old me was a horned lord, a father, albeit a childless one. Little did I know that my son was being born just a few miles away.

I always knew he was on his way, I could feel him. Every time I journeyed to the upperworlds and visited with the children of the future there was always a particular little child, full of energy and big beautiful eyes who couldn't wait to see me, I presumed it was a piece of myself, but something told me otherwise. “I can’t wait to come down! It looks amazing!” he once said to me. A golden little boy.

One year later and I am sitting nervously on the floor of a foster carer’s house. Fear and excitement rumble within me, I think I'm going to be sick! I hear him in the kitchen making a right noise! “Do you want to meet him?” the foster carer asks. She calls his name and his tiny little face pokes around the corner looking sheepish and coy, he gingerly crawls towards us, my heart melts, I am in love! This is what munay felt like, sacred love. Our son was looking at us, my golden little boy! I pick him up and put him on my lap, I feel like I was anointed king! I am the victor of my hero’s journey, I am King of my Kingdom, I am the Horned Lord, I am Dadda, with a bag full of boons.