The Cave..My Re-Birth

One evening we were to visit a cave.

We were told that there would be gatekeepers there and payment for entrance will be a candle from each of us.  Dressed up in my waterproofs and wellies we walked a long quiet and dark walk to the cave.  Outside the cave stood two witchy looking characters, feeling a little apprehensive but full of joy and humour we stood outside...we were about to enter into the womb/tomb of the goddess, under the hill of the ancient Torr was the entrance to the underworld, many had been seen entering into this domain.  As we enter into this place we leave who we think we are behind, we die to this world, and once we come out, we will be reborn into a new life.

Looking back I wish I said goodbye to the world I used to know.

We gave our gifts to the strangers stood outside and entered the cave.

Hearne’s alter was on the right, marking the doorway to the underworld, Bree’s alter was on the left, a huge dark circular pool was in the centre with a backdrop of pure blackness, to the left at the back was a deep pool of inky water, bone crushingly cold. This was the alter to the Black Madonna.  

Mesmerised by the beauty and darkness of the place, I heard the gentle singing of “amazing grace” filling the silence...I felt drawn the see the alter of Hearne, candles, animal skulls and dried flowers covered with the dust of prayers littered a stone slab, and a beautiful portrait of Hearne himself stood proudly above it. The doorway to the underworld had been carefully chalked into the side of the cave wall, I sat down in front of the alter on a tiny wooden log, and prayed to him, after a few moment I noticed a tear fall down my cheek, I was shocked as I didn't feel sad or overcome, then suddenly more tears started to flow, I wiped them away confused and  embarrassed, then like a flood gate my emotions poured out so fast I couldn’t control them, quietly sobbing my eyes out, I felt that all these tears were everybody’s tears, everyone who had ever felt alone, anyone who had ever felt unloved, anyone who suffered loss, I was crying their tears, the tears of the Mother....then memories from my past came out, old stories, old faces, I felt genuine sorrow for all the times I wished harm to another, and all the times I wished harm against myself. Like a garden of black weeds, I felt every one had been pulled out in the presence of the Lord of the underworld. I prayed and sobbed, and told of my sorrow.

I walked towards the singing, and saw all of my friends undressing! Uh oh! Now what! We sang together while individually people went into the pool of the Black Madonna, to be baptised into the new world.  I thought, “Absolutely no, no way! It’s freezing!” I saw people getting fully naked! I thought "gosh, so proud of them..but No No No!! Not for me!.....why are my legs burning so much?....Wow, I'm so hot!”

 “Ok, I will go in, but only up to my ankles” I took my waterproofs off, raincoat, wellies, socks, and I got in up to my thighs! But once I was in I wished I went in further, the water that could crack bone suddenly felt like a hot bath! I felt a deep warmth, that lasted for days.

We all sat around the large pool, singing songs about the prayers our ancestor made for us, at that time my Aunty was very ill, we were all to shout out a name of a relation to sing about, I wanted to say “My Aunty!” but my voice was locked, but in between singing and sobbing someone said it for me...After we sang we toned...we picked a tone and we sang it....I tried as hard as I could to keep it up and for the best part of it, I did.  This was when the rites of the Kawak started to awaken, my vision became a little cloudy, the water started to move and vibrate, as if snakes were swiming around in it, I sensed other beings around us, I felt the presence of ancient souls walking towards the gateway to the underworld, I tried to see them but they were just outside my vision, but I could almost see them in the reflection of the water, as we toned I felt that we raised our vibrations to such a level if anyone was to walk in to the cave off the street, we would not be seen.  As we went higher the souls seemed to notice us, and they started to gather around us, they lifted their heads towards the sky and sang with us, but this is not the most amazing thing... I could hear them too...angels singing with us! more tears!!

I looked at everyone around me and I could not see them properly, as I stared at the people standing next to me all I could see was their energy, a silhouette of coiling pulsating energy.....at the back of the pool in the darkness seemed to move, images floated past in the waters.....then I actually saw orbs, thousands of them, like snow floating around, like the orbs you see in digital photos....I looked to see our teacher, and all I could see was a whirlwind of energy, a mass of static electricity.....”Am I in the Matrix?!”

I felt the energy fall, to what was normal for Glastonbury, my emotions were controlled, and we walked around the cave, I felt drawn to the chapel of Bree, in front of the portrait of her with full fire in her belly, I sat and prayed to her that she filled me with her flame, that I too carried the flame within my belly.

As we left the cave we sang “Welcome” to each other.....I left feeling “Wow! Look at this wonderful new world! Where am I!?” I was so excited to be out into this world, I felt renewed...I felt re born.